Wasted Lives

A young woman died recently. She was not related to me, and I only met her once. She succumbed to a chronic illness, and was in her 30's, unmarried, living at home. Someone close to her expressed frustration, anger, and maybe a little guilt, that the deceased girl didn't "rise to her circumstances", didn't make the most of her talents, withdrew from the world--in short, wasted the time she had left.

I don't know if the young woman was happy, but it didn't sound like it. She didn't take care of herself, didn't avoid things that could exacerbate her illness. But who decides if a life is wasted, and how does one come to that decision? Is it a wasted life if her friend learns from the example set and determines to take advantages of opportunities afforded her, to love more, to give more?

I'm not being critical of the friend; her values and standards were different from the deceased's. Can it be said about me after my death, that I wasted my life? Maybe because I didn't travel more, didn't rise to management levels, didn't spend more time being sociable? If I am happy with my life the way it is, doesn't that count for something? Or have I set the bar too low for myself? And does it matter what others say about me after I'm gone?



Do I have regrets? Sure, I do. I've made mistakes as a wife, as a mother, as a nurse, as a friend, as a person in this world. There are many things I wish I could do over, knowing what I know now. But we don't get to know in advance; we have to struggle with the knowledge we have, putting one foot in front of the other, day after day.

If I had a terminal illness, would I have the mental and emotional strength to make the most of what time I had left, or would I just be in survival mode, trying to endure the treatments or live just one more day? I know what I'd like to be able to say, but I don't really know what I'd do.


When I entered nursing school, at the ripe old age of 18, I had visions of impacting lives, making a difference in the world. (I think I read too many Cherry Ames books.) Truth is, nursing is more about turning my frail little nursing home patient every two hours, than listening to his stories about his childhood.
Turning him and preventing bedsores is important to his physical health. I know that. But I'm not the nurse I thought I would be, decades ago. So does that mean my nursing life was wasted? By my own standards? And what about my personal life? It didn't turn out like I envisioned, either, but I am happy and content now. It hasn't always been that way, so has my life been wasted?



What do you think determines a "wasted life"?

S&T Friday

http://www.flickr.com/photos/44124374707@N01/465473139/

Just a quick one today. Thanks again to Kelli for hosting this fun little distraction!


Take a close look at this little "lamp". Notice anything?


How about the next photo?


It's a candle! The base is metal, but the entire "shade" is a candle. I can't bring myself to burn the candle, because I might never find another like it, and I think it's just so cute!
This was a gift to me from my sister-in-law, JJ, the first year we moved here, 2003. She and my brother came up for Thanksgiving, and stayed a couple of days to see our little "Mayberry". They bought this at one of our Main Street shops.

JJ is a hoot! In her head, out her mouth. She pulls no punches and calls things as she sees them, but was not above a burping contest with her teenage boys. She's all the girls' favorite aunt, loves to sew, is a whiz at photography, and one of the best things to ever happen to our family. My parents never appreciated her, but I did and do more every year. Love you, JJ!


Now it's time for a nap, then a 5 1/2 hour drive up to fetch the grandcats. (Next entry.)

Oops = Good Cookies

When I got home from work this morning, J-man was still in the bed. So as not to wake him, I fed the dog and let her out, then decided to make a batch of cookies to pass the time.

Now, I am a mediocre cook, a lackadaisical kind of baker. But this idea, modified slightly, came from Africankelli-- here: http://www.africankelli.com/2006/09/26/pumpkin-ravioli-and-pistachio-sugar-cookies/

Instead of sugar cookies, I got out a package of oatmeal cookie mix and dumped what I thought was a box of instant sugar-free butterscotch pudding into it, as I had done this past weekend. As I was tossing the box, I noticed it was cheesecake flavor instead. Ooops. Can't take it out. What to do? Look for pecans to add. Didn't find pecans, but DID find coconut. I added about 1/4 C of coconut to it, more than doubled the amount of water the mix called for (originally 1 T, so I put in 3 to adjust for the added powder), and baked for 10 minutes. Oh, my goodness, these are such good cookies. I decided I'd better blog this so I won't forget how to do it. For lack of imagination, these are now "coconut cheesecake oatmeal" cookies.

Now the J-man is up, and I have to work another 12 tonight, so I'm going to bed--AFTER I hide some back to take with me!

Enjoy!

Warning!

Only 5 months til Christmas!


Have you started shopping, making lists, or making items yet?

(Ducking and running)

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday! I guess it really started on Saturday, when I was able to pick up my sewing machine from the shop and she runs like a dream! Funny how we can become accustomed to dysfunction until someone or something intervenes.

Anyway spent Sunday sewing and sewing and sewing.... Put the borders on this quilt top I started for us.

It's just to be one of those "wrap up on the sofa" kind of quilts, made entirely from my stash, except for the border. I couldn't find anything in my stash that was large enough and solid enough to do the border. A patterned fabric would have been to busy for it, and I think the solid green kind of reins it in and gives the eye a place to rest. It needs to be sandwiched, backed and basted, but I can't get down on the floor with my knee yet, and that's the only place large enough to spread it out. I think I'll just tie this one. That will leave it a little fluffy still.

After I put this one together a couple of months ago, I took the remaining 6 1/2" squares and separated them into color groups. Then I took the beiges and browns and put them together for another comfort quilt--this one lap sized, and made to be donated.


Anytime there's a small piece left from a project, or a fabric I am just getting tired of or can't remember WHAT was I THINKING?--I cut it into 6 1/2" squares first. Then 4 1/2", then 2 1/2", and if there is any left, 1 1/2" squares. (When I'm in my 80s I should have enough tiny ones for a postage stamp quilt.) Someone once said, "There is no ugly fabric; you just haven't cut it into small enough pieces yet."

Of course, my stash can't get smaller as long as I keep buying more fabric, but I just couldn't pass these up at the quilt shop yesterday:


The red fabric I bought to border this quilt, from a free pattern named "Wicked Easy." It'll be a community comfort quilt, too.


The thread I bought to start replacing some of the cheap thread I have from a long time ago. It's not good for my machine, and besides, if I'm going to put this much effort into something, I need good tools. The fat quarters--well, I couldn't pass them up. I don't have many kid-friendly fabrics and I need to make some preemie quiltlets--but that's another post.

Then I got this book from my daughter:

It had been on my Amazon wish list and I'd come very close to buying it already, as I had checked it out from the guild library and drooled over the photos.

Then my J-man ordered this for me from the Smithsonian Catalogue:


Detail of the chimes:




I love windchimes, as long as they're not too brassy or clangy. I like the mellow or musical chimes. This one was a winner!


My birthday dinner was to be at a Mediterranean restaurant in our little town, but they are closed on Sun. and Mon. (J-man is silently cheering). Then my second choice was shot down by the J-man who heard (probably from his barber) that the food is too pricey for what they serve. That's fine; DD and I will go when she comes to town. So, cashing in on the benefits of being a grown-up, we just had nachos for supper, followed by fried ice cream from Breyer's. It's not as good as the real stuff, but not bad for being able to buy it in the grocery store.

Guess we must return to adulthood today.