“Old age ain't no place for sissies.”-- Bette Davis

Good morning! I know it's still hot outside, but can you feel autumn coming? There's something about the light that lets me know fall is on its way. I was out weed-eating this morning, and, hot and humid as it is, it just feels different out there.

Yes, I was weed-eating!  I'm sure the neighbors will be grateful; some of those weeds were up to my waist! I was very careful, but it felt so good to diminish the abandoned look the house was beginning to take on. I probably should have left it til after Halloween, but I just couldn't stand it much longer. My eye is improving. I'm only on prednisone eye drops three time a day now, and there is a 4-week gap between doctor visits. I can drive in the daytime, as long as I tape that eye shut, which I also do with night driving, and anytime I need to read. The vision in that eye is still blurry, which interferes with my overall sight.  Still not able to see well enough to sew, so I think I may carry my Bernina in to be serviced. That hasn't been done in 4 1/2 years, though I've only really sewn maybe a total of a year, what with work, selling a house, buying a house, moving, etc.  Once I get the remaining cataract removed, and new glasses, I will be in hog heaven!  Unfortunately, life has thrown us a curve ball again. Isn't that always the way it is?



Jack was due to have a colonoscopy last week, but it had to be cancelled--again. If I haven't said, my husband is a stroke survivor, which occurred when he was 32. He (and I) have lived with this for almost 40 years now, and he gets along really well, considering his entire left side is paralyzed. He can walk with a cane, a splint, and a trunk/hip swing movement, but he can't walk and talk at the same time. He needs to concentrate on each step, or he'll fall.

Last Wed, in the wee hours of the morning, trying to quickly respond to the nature's call of the colonoscopy prep (need I say more?), he slipped and fell in the bathroom. I had to call our volunteer rescue squad because I couldn't get him up alone, and once they helped him to his feet, it was obvious he couldn't stand. X-rays showed a fractured left ankle. So they put a fiberglass splint on his leg, and admitted him to the hospital, because he obviously cannot function here. Friday afternoon they transferred him to a rehab facility, and we're looking at a 2-6 week stay. He has a walking boot now, so he can bear weight as tolerated, which isn't much, but better than a week ago. He's a very determined person who values his independence, so he will work hard to get home as quickly as possible. Just don't know how long until he can get around, and since for a week after cataract surgery I am not allowed to bend over, or lift more than 10 lbs, we will be postponing the procedure. We are such a pair--the half-lame and the half-blind!

I am SO looking forward to being able to see clearly again. I had so many projects planned for this summer, indoors and out, and had sorted out some of my UFOs to work on. Right now, I can't even thread a needle. You should see my try to put toothpaste on my toothbrush.  Good thing I'm standing over a sink!

A new friend decided to start a book club, so 4 of us got together last week for our first meeting. For this month, at least, we decided to all read the same book, although we might alternate months where we read our own choices and then report back to the group with recommendations. Our first book is an older one, so that we can all get copies in our small town. Fortunately, it's on Audible, so I can listen to it: Major Pettigrew's Last Stand. Darlene (our host) had read the book before, and suggested we start with that one, as she is happy to read it again. I listened to a sample and it sounds perfectly charming! I may start it this week, while Jack is being cared for at rehab. Soon enough, he'll be home and I'll have my hands full!

Visions

Well, I finished blocks 5 & 6, but that's as far as I got. The QAL ended, but the block tutorials are still there, so I will get back to 7, 8, and 9 a little later, and then I think I'll do the on point layout.

All sewing, quilting, gardening and reading has pretty much come to a halt. June 5 I had the cataract in my left eye removed, which meant no bending or lifting greater than 10 lbs for a week. It has healed well, and I was to have the right cataract removed July 24. However, I have something called "mapdot fingerprint", which is a swirl of bumpiness on my corneas. The right one was more severe, enough that they couldn't get the measurements for the intraocular lens, so my doctor decided to do a corneal scraping 5 weeks ago. The term still makes me shudder.

I ended up with a nasty infection, and have been going to the eye clinic at UVA hospital 2-3 days/week for the last few weeks. My right eye stays taped shut except for eye drops, and finally, the surface of my eye has healed. I still have a lot of corneal swelling, though, so the vision in that eye is like looking through a glass block. I still can't tolerate bright light, but that has improved a little. I don't wear sunglasses indoors any more, but all the drapes are drawn and we keep the lights to a minimum. Being able to type this is a big step forward. I can drive at night now, but still can't drive in the daylight.

It has been so frustrating, and boring--once the pain began subsiding. The only way to really rest that eye has been to rest the other one, since your eyes function in synchronated movements. Watching TV was difficult, so when I could find a much-watched movie, I could sit and listen to it, without having to see what was going on. Thank goodness for friends and family! Jack has driven me to all our appointments (me white-knuckling it the whole way, but that's another story) and to the grocery store when needed. Since my left eye is now better, the lens in my glasses was no longer the correct prescription, so the office made me a cheap bifocal lens to help, and I use a magnifying glass when I need to. A sweet friend of mind brought me some books on tape, and my daughter got me set up with Audible, so time spent lying down in a dark room is much more appealing now. The docs say I shouldn't get the other cataract done for a couple of months, so guess we're looking at the end of September.

In the meantime, the flower beds are all overgrown with weeds, squash bugs got to my squash, and the cherry tomatoes haven't been very prolific, because they don't get watered enough. The herbs are struggling, and Dawn's quilt is still unfinished, as are some hand projects I had been working on. My fingers are itching to sew, but I just don't see well enough yet. My gardening tan has faded. BUT--I finally finished Dr. Sleep, and have "read" 4 other books as well, so all is not lost!




Snapped this picture right before the corneal scraping. I had planted several coneflower plants last summer, and they were just beginning to bloom the end of June. It's so gratifying to see the butterflies feasting on these and the butterfly bushes the previous owner planted. My goal for next summer is to increase the types of butterfly- and pollinator-friendly flowers in my flowerbeds. Here's hoping life doesn't get in the way, again!

Blocks 3 & 4

Well, Block #9 of the Hand -pieced Quilt Along was released this past Monday, and I just finished blocks 3 and  4. No matter, I'll finish the rest in my own time. I had to make block 3 three times to get something I was satisfied with. Block 4 was a bit easier, but still a little tricky. I had never done QSTs before. So, since it's after midnight, and a new link-up starts in the morning, I'm going to post this with no further ado.

Block 3:

Block 4:

Here's the link to Patty's blog: Elm Street Quilts  and here's the one to Kristin's: Simple, Handmade, Everyday

Maybe I can get another block or two done this weekend, before Hazel comes to spend a few days with us.

Struggles

I really thought I would be farther along in the Hand-Pieced Quilt Along I posted about, but I have cut and sewn, and recut and resewn this block, and now I realize I reversed my colors, so I need to re-recut and re-resew! AGGHHH!

I didn't do well on making the flying geese block using triangles--they just didn't line up right, so I must have stretched those bias edges or something.

 Went back to doing them my favorite way--with rectangles and squares and stitch and flipping. They all turned out well, but as I got ready to join my last seam, I realized I had reversed my background fabric with the colors.

Not to mention I lost a few points there. So, it's back to the cutting mat. Meanwhile, back at the QAL, block 8 was released today. I'm still on block 3.  Sigh.

It's been a tough fall and winter. The weather has been so wet for so many months--I think there has only been one week since July that it hasn't rained or snowed. The ark jokes are getting old. Usually, rainy weather doesn't bother me, but both the dog and the husband have had multiple health issues, requiring multiple vet and doctor visits, and more time and care from me. Add this to the many responsibilities I already have because of Jack's disability, and the hits to the bank account, and I found myself floundering, struggling to be the support my family needs.

So for the first time, I sought out the assistance of a counselor.  It almost made me feel like a failure, not being able to cope, not being able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and forge on. Oh, I wasn't having suicidal thoughts. To me, that's a clear cut sign of needing help. I just walked around on the verge of tears all the time. Simple tasks became monumental.  I got up, got dressed, and got us to all the appointments on time. Kept the grandbaby when my daughter came down with pneumonia and bronchitis. Got the laundry done, and the house reasonably clean. But it just felt as if I was slogging through waist-deep water all the time. I gave up going to the Y because of all the scheduling conflicts, and I didn't substitute with home exercises or walking. (Raining, right?) Meal planning and cooking became too hard, so Jack ate frozen meals (which he prefers, because I'm vegan and he's not) and too often I'd just make a pb&j, because it didn't require any thought. Bought too much junk processed food. Gained back the 35 pounds I had lost. Couldn't sleep through the night, yet wanted to sleep all day. Something had to change.

Now, thanks to Kelley, I am coping again. I am back on track. Not that the problems have gone away; they never do, do they? Tandi still has health problems, and if she makes it to May 27, she will be 15 years old--that's really old for a cocker spaniel. Jack's health issues fluctuate, but we are staying positive and we are supporting each other. It's still a little one-sided, but that's the nature of marriage, the whole "in sickness and in health" clause. Finances have dictated that I put aside counseling for now, but I have promised my husband and my counselor not to let myself get into crisis mode again. If I start feeling overwhelmed, help is only a phone call away.


I tell you all this to say that if you find yourself feeling some of those same things--unrelenting sadness, inability to make decisions or take care of yourself properly, sleep disruptions, lack of interest in things that used to bring you joy, misplaced anger or irritability-- please, seek counseling. There are professionals who are able to help, and who can help you find your way back. Check your workplace's EAP program. See what your health insurance covers. Talk to you doctor.  Mine added acute stress disorder, with an explanation, to my online chart. Unfortunately, my medicare advantage plan didn't cover it, but I found a counselor who has a sliding scale payment plan. Check out Psychology Today's website. There you can find licensed therapists in your area who specialize in all different areas. Read their bios, lists of what they cover, their philosophies, and their financial requirements. Most will let you email or phone them for a free initial contact, to determine if they can help you and if they are a good fit for you. I started with a list of 22 possibilities, and narrowed it down to two. Kelley answered my email, and not only was that free, but so was my first visit. It was a good match.

Recognizing I needed help, and asking for it, did not make me a failure. It was a sign of my strength. So please, if you're struggling, do this for yourself. You deserve it.

Hand Piecing

Two bloggers started a Hand Pieced Quilt Along together--Patty of  Elm Street Quilts, and Kristin of Simple, Homemade, Everyday. Each of them used different colorways and each has posted a different setting. There's a facebook page, too--Hand Pieced Quilt Along.  Every week (on Monday) a different block is posted, beginning with the basics and building on those skills. Each block finishes at 6", so those are some small pieces there.

This is not my first time hand piecing, but it has been fun to get back to it. The first quilting class I ever took was a sampler quilt of 12" blocks, all by hand. I made a throw for my daughter after graduating high school (late 90s) and hand quilted it as well. It's still in use, though very worn and ragged, which is why I am making her the string quilt.

I'm running a little behind, but I did finish up blocks 1 and 2 this week. (Block 5 will be posted on Monday, so I'm trying to catch up!)  There are sponsors with prizes every week, so this will be my first week to link up and be eligible for a prize. I decided to use batik scraps for my blocks, and I think I will set them on point, something I've never done before. Here are my first 2 blocks:

 It has been such a dreary, rainy fall and winter, that I felt the need for something more cheerful, now that the lights and colors of Christmas are just a memory. I'm thinking this little quiltlet should be called "Confetti".  It reminds me of the birthday cake Dawn made for my granddaughter's 4th birthday last week.