Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine thoughts

I've been reading different posts about Valentine's Day, the commercialism versus home crafts, and listening to gals at work talk about their plans to observe the day--or not. J-Man and I have never done much to celebrate Valentine's Day, though I did surprise him today with a funny card and a box of Hershey's Kisses.

I remember a book I read several years ago, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. According to Chapman, who is a Christian Marriage Counselor, we have different love languages, and if we don't learn how to express our love in a manner our spouse can understand, it's as if you speak English and he speaks Chinese--you will never truly be able to communicate unless at least one of you learns the other's language.

His list? Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch.

J-Man's primary language is Acts of Service, with Gifts a close second. It's what he understands, and how he expresses his love for me. I cannot remember the last time he said the words, "I love you", but he hunts up the best gas prices and fills my truck up a couple of times a month, and he faithfully provides some sort of supper the nights I work so I won't have to get up early to cook. Today he went to Arby's for lunch while I slept, and came home with a chocolate turnover for me.

I used to be a Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation gal, but have learned new languages. Because of the J-Man's disability, walking and holding hands is just not an option any more. Hugs are difficult too--they can throw him off balance. He appreciates it when I tell him I love him, but it means more to him when I keep his clothes folded in his drawers, because it's easier for him than trying to hunt through a basket for clean underwear.

Do you and your Sweetheart speak the same love language? Have you learned to communicate in a way that truly says "I love you and I want you to know it?"
J-Man knows I love him, but he FEELS loved when I get supper on the table by 6:00 pm. I think I'm going to read this book again. I really need a refresher.


Colene said...

I've read this book also. It seems I could use a refresher too. Thanks for bringing it to my head again.

MightyMom said...

we're constantly working on it.

right now we're not doing as well....but we'll get there as we continue to adjust.