Friday, September 04, 2009


Long, boring post ahead. Feel free to move on to happier blogs. I won't be offended. In fact, I might just do the same thing.

These days, my mental state is ragged and tired and ugly. I am hard to be around; I live in the negative. I didn't want that to show through online, so blogging has been very sparse this last month. What posts there have been were shallow and space-fillers. Is that fair? Is it better to try to smooth over the rough spots and keep things as light and cheerful as possible or is it a better thing to be honest about your state of mind? Maybe the correct answer is somewhere in-between. Moderation in all things.

Autumn has always been a time of renewal for me. The crispness of its air and the vibrancy of its colors always seem to smooth my rough edges, even as I get wild and crazy about Halloween. I need that right now; it's been a rocky summer.

There have been concerns about my daughter's physical and emotional health, and J-Man, due to his partial paralysis, has seemed to endure more falls than usual. (The stroke, by the way, was 30 years ago this Labor Day Weekend.) A change in management has resulted in a lot of mistrust, a HUGE turnover in staff, and a persistent cloud over the unit. I have been looking for other employment, but in this small area, nursing jobs for which I am qualified and in which I have at least a passing interest, are not in abundance. Moving from one lousy situation into an equally lousy, and unknown, situation isn't the answer. Limbo (4. a place or state of imprisonment or confinement) isn't a great place to reside. (My current address is 911 Limbo Lane, Indecision Island, thank you very much.)

So changes must be in order: changes in attitude? viewpoint? place of work? priorities? management? Nah, that's not gonna happen.

A change of attitude is my best bet, with priorities a close second. What's that saying? If you can't change a situation, you need to change your attitude about the situation?

Here's to hot apple cider, crunchy leaves and mellow golden-lit days. They can't come too soon.


Anonymous said...

It sounds like you're having a really rough time. I hope you can find a job that satisfies you and that life falls more into place.

hugs and prayers,


cockermom said...

I am so sorry you are having a bad time right now. It is always rough when you have to worry so much about family and top it with a lousy job, never a break from just dealing with life. Sometimes it is better to vent and what better place then your blog. Hang in there, we are listening and praying for you.

Jean said...

Sorry to hear about your job and other frustrations. I have sort of been there too lately, with back to school and some changes there that I am not crazy about. I am behind on blogging too, so hadn't even seen the blog about the hair! Glad you could use it.

MightyMom said...

if I send you some halloween fabric will that cheer you up?


julieQ said...

I am so sorry...our unit is gong through tremendous upheaval too. Such is nursing at times...doesn't make it easier! I pray for a peaceful soul, and good things for you on the job front, as well as family too.

Lori in South Dakota said...

I think the upheavals is in all the medical profession. My daughter is also looking for a different job. She loves nursing, but finds some of the new changes "scarey". She wonders if she is able to provide that level of competence with the amount of time she has. sigh I feel so bad for her! and you!

AnnieO said...

Limbo---also known as a dance of impossible physical extremes and balance. Hope the bar doesn't go lower for you!

Sending you warm and quilty thoughts and hoping your concerns ease with the change in season.

Catherine said...

Sometimes venting is the best thing you can do -- instead of trying to keep it all in. I hope things settle a bit for you and that you find a job that's a better fit.

SueR said...

Venting now and then is probably a good thing. Go ahead, we can take it. I am sorry that things have been so rough for you this summer. Geez, with the health care system the way it is, I would have thought you could get a job anywhere in nursing. The rest of us don't always understand how it is. Hang tough! Halloween and Fall are right around the corner!