Long, boring post ahead. Feel free to move on to happier blogs. I won't be offended. In fact, I might just do the same thing.
These days, my mental state is ragged and tired and ugly. I am hard to be around; I live in the negative. I didn't want that to show through online, so blogging has been very sparse this last month. What posts there have been were shallow and space-fillers. Is that fair? Is it better to try to smooth over the rough spots and keep things as light and cheerful as possible or is it a better thing to be honest about your state of mind? Maybe the correct answer is somewhere in-between. Moderation in all things.
Autumn has always been a time of renewal for me. The crispness of its air and the vibrancy of its colors always seem to smooth my rough edges, even as I get wild and crazy about Halloween. I need that right now; it's been a rocky summer.
There have been concerns about my daughter's physical and emotional health, and J-Man, due to his partial paralysis, has seemed to endure more falls than usual. (The stroke, by the way, was 30 years ago this Labor Day Weekend.) A change in management has resulted in a lot of mistrust, a HUGE turnover in staff, and a persistent cloud over the unit. I have been looking for other employment, but in this small area, nursing jobs for which I am qualified and in which I have at least a passing interest, are not in abundance. Moving from one lousy situation into an equally lousy, and unknown, situation isn't the answer. Limbo (4. a place or state of imprisonment or confinement) isn't a great place to reside. (My current address is 911 Limbo Lane, Indecision Island, thank you very much.)
So changes must be in order: changes in attitude? viewpoint? place of work? priorities? management? Nah, that's not gonna happen.
A change of attitude is my best bet, with priorities a close second. What's that saying? If you can't change a situation, you need to change your attitude about the situation?
Here's to hot apple cider, crunchy leaves and mellow golden-lit days. They can't come too soon.